is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
