Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
