he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
