Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
