Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
