hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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