operation harelip BJ is a go
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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