Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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