Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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