the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm both gender and math confused
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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