his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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