There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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