ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
