She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
