from now on my penis is your penis
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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