I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
