there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
