if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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