Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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