Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
