At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
