so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
