Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
