Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
