This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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