kristin has been a bad kristin
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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