nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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