weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
