Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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