i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
