dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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