Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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