I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
