I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
