when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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