I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize