I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
