Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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