A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
