I need help removing her.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize