She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
