Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
