I don't usually arrange sex via text message
false alarm. still invincible.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize