soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize