glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
