id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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