So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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