Your mouth is God's brothel.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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