Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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