so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
