I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
