How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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