it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
