Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
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