Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
