Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
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It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
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it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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