i don't like sucking hair
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I will pee on everything he values.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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