it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
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I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
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Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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